Jul 21

Jul 21 Weekly (naptime) Marriage Meetings

We’re not always guaranteed a nap, but these days, assuming our Sunday comes with one, we spend the time meeting as a couple. It is meant to be a simple, positive, interruption-free, 30 minute, 4-part meeting as outlined by Marcia Naomi Berger, licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist, in her book Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love.

First introduced to the concept through the Art of Manliness Podcast, we jumped right in, trusting the format:

Appreciation
This opens the conversation on a good note, allowing partners to share successes out loud
Chores
We pick out the most important tasks that need to get done and record them to track progress (we actually track all our tasks with Asana, so we don’t need to list too many here)
Good Time Plans
Since dates without the kid are not possible for us during the COVID-19 pandemic, so far, we’ve chosen to describe how we will celebrate upcoming holidays or make the most of what time we do get together, whether that is a lunch date during a nap or time dancing together each day (we may want to start working in some self-nurturing plans during this time as well)
Problems & Challenges
Before closing out the meeting, we end with some time to work through any issues that came up over the past week, whether it was related to sleep deprivation, finances, or self care (the “we’re in this together” feeling from tackling the first three parts should make this last part easier)

Amidst the chaos of raising a toddler during a worldwide pandemic, this has been key to staying on the same page, organized, and connected. The most uncomfortable thing about starting for me was worrying about what kinds of Problems & Challenges were going to come up, but as we continued, I realized that this part of the meeting was sometimes the most therapeutic as it prompted us to talk about how we’re doing with everything and find small things we might be able to change. 5 stars. Highly recommend.